14 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE COMMITTING
DO YOU COMMUNICATE WELL?
Communication is the heart of a relationship and without it, things aren’t likely to last for too long. Are you two able and willing to properly communicate with each other? Have you talked about uncomfortable topics successfully? If you two aren’t good at talking and listening, work on it before committing.
CAN YOU ENVISION A FUTURE WITH THIS PERSON?
Before committing to a man and a relationship with him, take some time to really think about whether or not you could see yourself being with this man in the future. If you can’t see yourself dating him for at least a few months, let alone a few weeks, you probably aren’t ready to and shouldn’t commit to this man. Before committing know that your time, energy, and effort invested will be well worth it.
DO YOU HAVE THE SAME LIFE VIEWS?
A lot of people go into a relationship without talking about future topics, such as marriage, children, and so on. Even though you aren’t in a serious relationship yet, it is definitely wise to know the answers to these questions before committing. What if this man doesn’t want to get married and you do? Or what if he really isn’t looking to be monogamous at this point in his life. Know these things before stepping forward.
ARE YOU SETTLING OR REBOUNDING?
Are you only interested in committing because you’re tired of being single? Are you just looking for a man in your life? Are you willing to commit because he’s good enough? Don’t commit to a relationship if you’re settling or on the rebound. Things will go downhill quickly and you’ll only be wasting his time and yours.
HAS BAGGAGE BEEN DEALT WITH?
If either of you have been in a relationship before, it’s likely that you at least have some sort of baggage. Before committing to each other and a new relationship, be sure that each of you take time to deal with any baggage that you may have. Baggage that is left ignored can easily ruin the best of relationships.
DO OTHERS SUPPORT THE RELATIONSHIP?
Do your friends think that the two of you are a good match? Have his friends readily welcomed you into their circle? Are your parents excited when you bring him around? While you don’t exactly need approval from others to date someone, it definitely helps to know that others will support and back you up. When others support a relationship, it’s likely that there are no glaring red flags.
HOW MUCH DO YOU LIKE EACH OTHER?
Though this may seem like a really stupid question to ask yourself and the guy you’re seeing, really figure out how much you two like each other. Is the attraction all physical? Do you only care about him when you’re together? Before committing, be sure that you really truly care about and like this man, and be sure it’s mutual.
HAVE YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT?
Relationships are never free of conflict, so before you jump into a full-time commitment, make sure that you know how the two of you react when there is conflict. Having a solid conflict-resolution pattern is necessary in order for any relationship to work, especially when it comes to apologizing and compromising. This doesn’t mean that you need to argue tonight or tomorrow, but take notes on how things go when conflict does arise.
DO YOU RESPECT AND TRUST EACH OTHER?
Before getting into a relationship there should already be a stable foundation of trust, respect, and care. It’s important that before committing to a relationship the two of you have mutual respect and trust for each other and if there are any issues, it’s important to deal with them now instead of later. Respect and trust are a huge must.
DO YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE AND SAFE AROUND HIM?
Before committing to a relationship with a specific man, it’s important that you can say 100% that when you’re around him you feel comfortable and safe. Of course physically you should feel safe, but do you feel emotionally and physically comfortable around him too? If you’re able to show your true colors and know that nothing negative will come out of it, you’re on the right path.
DOES HE ACCEPT YOUR FLAWS AND QUIRKS?
None of us are perfect and we all have some sort of flaw or quirk that makes us unique, different, and maybe even a bit weird. Has this man noticed your flaws and quirks? Has he accepted that they are part of you? It’s important that before committing you know that this man accepts you for you and isn’t going to go into the relationship trying to change who you are as a person.
ARE YOU COMPATIBLE SPIRITUALLY?
Surely at some point or another you and this man have touched upon your religious upbringings and beliefs, but did you take a step back and determine whether or not your beliefs are compatible? Take some time to talk about any differences that exist between the two of you and make sure that you’re able and willing to work them out.
DO YOU HAVE SIMILAR VALUES AND MORALS?
Aside from lifestyle choices and future goals, do you and this man have similar values and morals? Do you both value family and friends? It’s important that your beliefs and values mesh, or else you may come across bumps in the road that could easily be quite hard to navigate over. Make sure that all of this pans out before committing to each other.
DO YOU BRING OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER?
An important part about dating and committing to someone is knowing that when you’re around each other, you can expect the best of both of you to come out. You don’t want to commit to someone who makes you feel sad, angry, or frustrated. It’s best to spend your time on a man who makes you smile, listens to what you have to say, understands your perspectives, and overall keeps you happy